I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize