question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
