Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
