she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
