my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
