Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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