how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
