Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
home. puking in laundry basket.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize