I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
