It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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