winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
