I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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