no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
