I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
40s are totally the cure
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
