don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
