what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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