Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
