You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
