Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
