need another drink. this is the easiest way
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
