Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
