yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize