I look better un-naked...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
