do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
