its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
