He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
