Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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