I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
