Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
