My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize