i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
