Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
