Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I wear drunk well.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
