Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
