Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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