when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
