If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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