I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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