She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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