I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
