ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
