..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
