Duck Duck Cougar?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the raccoons are back...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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