i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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