You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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