I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
