People with herpes should wear stickers.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
