I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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