Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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