I faked an abortion last night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
