Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
