I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
