Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
