worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
