the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm too high and old for this...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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