I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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