Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
